Schadenfreude

Schadenfruede, however you spell it, is an interesting concept. Taking pleasure in the misfortune of others. Last Sunday I saw Avenue Q, a wonderfully twisted musical, beautifully done and very creatively staged. The numbers included "Everyone's a little bit racist" and one that was something like "It's OK if you're gay," sung to a puppet named Rod, who is a closeted gay Republican. Another number, Shadenfruede, focused on the evil pleasure of looking at others' miseries and thinking, 'hey, my life isn't so bad....'

I feel a touch of that, at times, if I hear about a writer who is mired in writer's block--especially if that writer is more successful than me. It really comes up around book writing; despite what I say in my writing classes, I feel (when it comes to myself at least) that real writers write--and publish--books and therefore, I still have yet to arrive.

When I get into my competitive writer's head, and my inner critic is whispering into my inner ear, or shouting at full volumne, I drop headlong into another dark emotion--jealousy.

Still, I try to keep focused on doing my own work rather than worrying about what others are doing. Which is fine, as long as I don't hang out with too many successful writers....

Overdue

So, I'm already late with this post. I could make excuses--I had a column due for Bay Windows, (which should be in this Thursday's paper), but that's lame. My plan is to post each Sunday or Monday, and do this weekly. Now, I need to figure out ways to keep writing and working on two book projects. The first one, a collection of essays called "Finding My Place," keeps coming together and falling apart. I just got feedback from another editor, (who I owe about $150), who doesn't think the collection works as a book.

Ugh! Putting together a book that does work is a lot more complicated than just organizing and writing a good essay. I'm used to writing in short stints and creating brief pieces. While I'm working on these projects, I could really use a writing buddy who would keep me honest (i.e. plugging away at my tasks). Writing date, anyone?

My Derriere in the Chair

I'm a master procrastinator, especially when it comes to writing. The best way I can counter that, and get around the resistance in my body and mind, is to create deadlines and impose some sense of structure on myself. Discipline and a set schedule work well for me, though I resist them like the plague. So I'm recommitting to writing regularly, and posting at least once a week. If you check out my blog from time to time, please let me know; it's nice to know I'm not just throwing these thoughts out into the void.

Another Year Older

Last week I bumped/crashed into my 51st birthday, or as my friend Philip would say, "my 52nd year." Just when I was (sort of) getting used to the idea of being 50, the year turned, February rolled around, and here I am. At least this past year, unlike the one before it, didn't involve any health crises or invasive procedures.