Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Mining for new material

When I teach writing workshops, I always tell students to "mine for gold," and to search their rich lives for interesting material. Meanwhile, I've been avoiding my blog, since I'm tired of writing about the subject of ME. I feel tapped out; my veins are exhausted. Some of this stems, I'm sure, from my uncertainty around my book. A month ago, I thought it was almost done; now, it's back under construction--or more truthfully--collecting dust motes as I wonder what to do with it, as I decide if it's worthy of further revision. It's like the Seinfeld episode in which Mr. Peterman decides to purchase some of Kramer's stories, and pass them off as his own. If only I'd led a more heroic, fascinating life......

Hmm...I guess that's what James Frey did (write fiction and call it memoir), and it got him all the way to the best seller lists. But I don't write fiction (very often or very well) and I can't go back and relive my life so far. I just need to find a new vein, a new 'mother lode,' which right now feels a bit like less likely than stumbling on Mr. Right at the Medford Square CVS, (or stumbling on Mr. Right at all!)

Still, on some level I'm hopeful that inspiration will strike, or that I'll find a really gripping show on TV.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Pathetic, Whiny Narrator

There's nothing like getting feedback (i.e. rejection) as a writer. I recently received two missives--one from an agent, who said that, while my work was well-written, she didn't feel passionate enough about it to represent me. The other note came from an editor who agreed to critique my work, and described my narrator (i.e. me) as "both pathetic and naricissistic...and yet likeable."
Hmm.....the narcissism was based on the fact that there's little in the first 50 pages about my two brothers. In terms of my older brother, I want to tell her to read on. In terms of my younger, it was easier not to disturb the family harmony, and there are few if any skeletons to uncover in that corner of the family closet anyway.

It appears I'm getting a mite defensive. I've been working on this collection, slowly, sputteringly, for about 8 years, and now that I've arrived--or thought I had--my ego is twisting and turning, wanting to shake off the negative vibes and the basic truth in the feedback I've been getting. And that begs the question--will my book ever see the light of day? Is it, am I good enough?
I guess time, and several more drafts, will tell.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Gay Marriage 1, Homophobes 0

Here in Massachusetts, gay marriage is protected--and safe for the time being--thanks to a lot of hard work by lobbyists and activists. The Republicans' use of same-sex couples as a bogeyman to scare our neighbors isn't working like it once did. (Though that was the only bad news in the recent election; 7 of 8 ballot initiatives to outlaw gay marriage/civil unions passed. Only Arizona rejected a ban).

This piece is running in my local paper, and will hopefully be picked up by some other papers in the Boston area. Think about it!

Thanks for Not Voting

By Judah Leblang/2006

I’d personally like to thank each of the 109 state legislators who voted to recess last week’s constitutional convention, and who prevented a vote on the proposed ballot initiative that would outlaw same-sex marriage and civil unions in Massachusetts. While Howie Carr and Mitt Romney howl that these legislators “disgraced” their office by not voting on the initiative—which only needed 50 votes out of 200 in two consecutive legislative sessions to pass—I believe that these officials did us a service by not prolonging the agony, and by not wasting a lot of taxpayer’s time and money to continue the debate as to whether gay marriage should be legal in Massachusetts.

Whether the Catholic Church and the Focus on the Family types like it or not, the train has left the station; the horse has left the barn. The Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts—and the courts of several other states, along with those of Canada, Spain, Holland, etc, have declared that gay people are worthy of the same rights as heterosexuals, and that same-sex marriage is a civil rights issue. Here in Massachusetts, more than 8,000 gays and lesbians have “tied the knot,” and despite the dire warnings of Governor Romney, George W. Bush and the hierarchy of the Catholic Church, the sky has not fallen.

Other politicians and officials have argued for an up or down vote, to “let the people decide.” I strongly disagree. As a gay man, as a member of a traditionally oppressed group, I do not want my civil rights (or lack thereof) to be determined by our governor, my neighbors, or by religious officials. Our founding fathers wisely established our republic as a representative democracy, to protect minorities from “the tyranny of the majority.” These same fathers established a system of civil marriage and emphasized the separation of church and state, principles I heartily endorse.

Some of these same self-righteous folks decry the “activist judges” in places like Massachusetts and New Jersey. Again, they argue that the local populace should decide, that the definition of marriage should be determined by popular vote. There’s a clear parallel here to the arguments put forth by the advocates of Jim Crow laws in the South. Without “activist” federal judges, black folks might not have earned their place at the table for many years; their dreams might have been deferred even longer.

Today we look upon the old miscegenation laws, which forbade the mixing of the races, and were overturned by a Supreme Court decision in 1967 as a relic of another time—an era of ignorance and fear. In a similar vein, in a generation or less, people will look back on the “defense of marriage laws” recently passed in 20+ states and shake their heads in wonder. They will look back at the fear and hate of the “other” and wonder how heterosexual marriages were “threatened” by same-sex couples who simply wanted to make similar commitments to each other.

Those 109 legislators ensured that discrimination would not be written into the constitution of our commonwealth. Instead, Massachusetts stands out as the only state in which folks like me can marry, and have our marriages declared equal in the eyes of the state. Soon, another state, and then another will join us. And that is something to celebrate. As Martin Luther King said, “The arc of the moral universe bends at the elbow of justice.”

Justice was done at the State House last week. And I’m thankful for it.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Doing the next dumb thing

I have a wise friend, a visual artist, who is my sounding board and my reality check when things get tough. I might be overwhelmed at the idea of starting a new essay, putting my manuscript together and revising it (again!), or just dealing with my next doctor appointment or "procedure"--and this year I've had a lot of them.

"Just do the next dumb thing," he'll say.

Even though I've heard the words before, many times, it always helps to be reminded. It's as if he's grabbed me, and shaken me--gently--but firmly enough to slow down my hamster-in a cage-mind, and snapped me back to a deeper, or firmer reality. I might sigh, or take a deep breath, or just realize that, though it may not solve anything, I might want to lie down or write a little, even if it's just thoughts in my journal.

When I feel overwhelmed with the idea of writing, I know that creating one small thing, like this blog entry, will make me feel better.

So here I am, doing something, writing something but not much, and still, it's better than doing nothing.