The Craft of Writing

I'm participating in a week-long writing conference at Lesley University this week. It's been nice to be on campus, but not be in work mode. One thing that has been coming up for me this week is my "ego stuff." I sit in my writing workshop and listen to other folks' writing and get caught up in comparisons. I feel somewhat envious of the published/renowned writers who serve as the faculty for the conference. "Real writers have published books" my inner critic mutters and I know that I haven't passed the bar yet.

And yet, despite the insecure, needy ego-monster who is currently inhabiting my brain, I'm enjoying hanging out with other wirters--yes, I am one--and learning from teachers/writers who are further along on the path than I am. At times, I'm even enjoying the process of writing a book and exploring my themes and topics. Maybe it's not about just getting to the finish line.

Man Plans and God laughs

And I thought my health issues would be "cleaned up" in time for my current sabbatical. But the tumor grew (a little). I don't have to undergo surgery (yet) but I will have to do so if it continues to grow. In the mean time, I'm trying to stay in the present moment and appreciate my overall good health. The older I get, the more I realize life is not black and white, but rather many shades of gray. Over time, I'm learning to live with inconsistency, uncertainty, and the inevitable ups and downs that seem to make up life. But sometimes, it's not easy to ride those waves!

Waiting and Hoping (again)

I spent this past Friday running a medical circuit, first to the Pigmented Lesion Center at Mass General, and then on to Mt Auburn Hospital for an MRI. I passed my body scan--it's 7 months until my next visit--and always a relief to know I don't have another malignant mole. Now I'm waiting for the MRI results; if my tumor (located behind the left kidney) has grown in the past 5 months, I'll need to have surgery later this year.

I know the tumor is not malignant, which is the main thing, but I'm not anxious to have fairly major surgery and then go through the recovery. So I'm sitting with the uncertainty of now knowing, expecting to find out tomorrow, and hoping with all my heart that I can let the tumor be....at least for a while.