Waiting

How much of my life--how much does the average human--spend waiting? For the bus, the T, to grow up, to reach puberty, to get one's driver's license, to graduate high school, college, grad school, get a better job, etc, etc. It seems I've often/almost always been focused on some future goal, while avoiding the present. And yet, the present moment (as corny as this sounds) is where life happens....

This past weekend was STRESSFUL. After a year full of physical challenges, I was informed that a tumor, hopefully benign, had been detected on a CAT scan, which I had done in late December. I spent the last 10 days waiting to find out the prognosis, and finally heard yesterday that the tumor (after last Friday's MRI) does look benign. The next step is going in for a needle biopsy and confirming this diagnosis, and finding out if the growth can stay, or if it should be removed.

Meanwhile, in the midst of this, I'd committed to do a reading for a group of senior citizens in Brookline. About 50 showed up for Sunday morning brunch, and then gathered in the community room to watch/listen to me read and perform my stories. The gay themes in my work didn't bother them; the Jewish themes they clearly enjoyed. Despite my fear and the ever-present knot in my stomach, I was able to enjoy sharing my pieces, being (mostly) in the present moment, and meeting these unflappable "old folks." I even got an invitation to speak at the local senior citizens center. It could be a whole new market for me....