A Jew in Church

On Sunday mornings, I often go to Arlington Street Church in Boston, where I can connect with many of my gay male friends and get a dose of ecumenical spirituality, along with a healthy helping of community and companionship. Though I went to temple, at least 2 or 3 Fridays a month for most of the past 7 years, recently I've grown restless, and my shul doesn't offer the sense of gay community that I have at ASC.

But I've found the past 2 Sundays, with their focus on Christmas, and more specifically on Jesus C, have been difficult. I'm certainly not a traditional Jew--I've lived in a yoga ashram, a Quaker communal house, and have friends from a variety of backgrounds--but I didn't expect a heavy dose of the "miracle" of Jesus' birth from the Unitarians.

Over the past few years, I've been searching again, wondering why Judaism (or my experience of it) is so hard, and wondering if ASC could be my spiritual home. But standing in my pew, mouthing the words to "Little Town of Bethlehem" and "Come all ye faithful" reminded me of my own (shaky) faith, and the fact that I remain a Jew--not only culturally, but spiritually as well. I'm not always sure what that means--to be Jewish in a way that works for me, from the inside out--but I'm searching.

And now I know one thing--I doubt I'll find my answer in church.